


Oh, don't leave me here alone

by thetolkiengeek



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 4x13, Bellamy POV of the head and heart scene, Canon Compliant, F/M, Should I tag anything else, There were just so many spec fics that i just figured we needed something different, also i have never posted on here before, idk wtf im doing so have fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 14:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11150535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetolkiengeek/pseuds/thetolkiengeek
Summary: "Grounders in space. It's an oxymoron," he said in answer to the question she didn't have to ask."Survival's a team sport," she replied, "especially up there. It was the only choice."Her lips quirked up in a familiar half-smile."Only choice. Also an oxymoron, by the way." Her eyebrows flicked up in that distinctly Clarke way. He knew that phrase "only choice" should bring up bad recent memories. Instead, he found it...dare he say adorable?"So is cold sweat."Before he knew what he was doing, he was reaching out to wipe the sweat off her brow, his face screwed up in what he hoped was an approximation of nonchalance.--Or, a Bellamy POV of that scene in 4x13





	Oh, don't leave me here alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I suppose this is where I say long time listener first time caller. Disclaimer, this is my first fanfic ever. I've been writing original fiction since I can remember but I've been lacking inspiration lately so I decided to try my hand at writing a scene already written. 
> 
> Anyway, here's the fic. Title from Hello My Old Heart by the Oh Hellos. It was stuck in my head the whole time I was writing this and it's just so Bellarke it hurts.

Bellamy stared down from the platform in Becca's lab. He watched as Raven, Emori, and Echo readied the rocket to take them back to the Ark. It was almost poetic, really. Something out of a Homeric epic, circling back around to where you came from, just maybe with fewer friends. 

He glanced again at Emori and Echo. Perhaps not. 

He heard her come up to meet him at the railing. Even without her familiar footsteps and the swish of the radiation suits, he would have known she was there. He was attuned to all things Clarke Griffin. 

"Grounders in space. It's an oxymoron," he said in answer to the question she didn't have to ask. 

"Survival's a team sport," she replied, "especially up there. It was the only choice."

Her lips quirked up in a familiar half-smile. 

"Only choice. Also an oxymoron, by the way." Her eyebrows flicked up in that distinctly Clarke way. He knew that phrase "only choice" should bring up bad, recent memories. Instead, he found it...dare he say adorable? 

"So is cold sweat."

Before he knew what he was doing, he was reaching out to wipe the sweat off her brow, his face screwed up in what he hoped was an approximation of nonchalance. The look she gave him was so soft and so sad...

"Still holding out hope for that nightblood solution?" he asked, probing for the source of that dullness in her eyes. 

"There was never any solution. ALIE was right about that."

"Our fight is not over." Grounder words for a grounder space. 

"My mom had a vision of me dying. Just like the one Raven had that told her there was a rocket here."

"It is not the same thing," he insisted, shaking his head slightly. 

She sighed. "They were both EMPed."

"And Abby will be fine too," he shrugged. "Raven told her how to stop it."

Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper. "That's not what I'm talking about."

He could hear it in her voice, that cold-blooded certainty that Clarke always has, that she was not going to survive this. 

"If anything happens to me--"

_"Clarke, if I don't see you again--"_

"Nothing is happening to you." 

_"You will"_

He tried to muster up the same conviction. But even he could hear the desperation in his voice, that burning desire to convince himself of this last hope. 

He pulled away from her and walked to the table, needing to keep moving safely away from this topic. 

"Come on, let's run these water numbers again." His clenched fists belayed his casual tone. 

"Please, Bellamy, I need you to hear this."

He didn't move. Couldn't. His heart raced a million miles per hour in his chest. Could he hear what she had to say? He honestly didn't know. 

He thought back to the moment by the rover, what felt like so long ago. Back when the future looked bleaker but still possible, instead of this bright shooting star of hope. He was both grateful and angry that Clarke had not let him finish what he had to say. He wasn't even sure he would have been able to get out all that she meant to him in mere words. But she knew. She had to know. 

Bellamy steeled himself. He turned to her, sighing deeply to recover a breath he didn't know he was holding. His eyes searched through hers for what Clarke Griffin, possibly the most brilliant woman he would ever have the privilege of knowing, could possibly have to say to Bellamy Blake, a janitor who just wanted to take care of a sister who didn't need him. 

"We've been through a lot together, you and I..."

Oh god. That breath he took fluttered in his chest. This was a goodbye speech. By the sound of it, she had planned to say this. Written it down, even. 

But all at once he understood. He always would, with this girl. He nodded a little, encouraging her to go on. He could take it. He would, because she needed to say this. Needed him to hear it. 

"I didn't like you at first, that's no secret."

He couldn't bring himself to laugh, couldn't look her in the eye, just attempt to take another deep breath as she went on. 

"But even then, every stupid thing you did, that was to protect your sister. She didn't always see that. But I did."

His eyes snapped back to hers of their own accord. She was like a magnet, always drawing him in. He didn't even have to move his head to look at her. She was always there, his center of gravity. Even when she was laying him bare, seeing him for all his mistakes and flaws and miscalculations, even then he couldn't pull himself away if he tried. She saw him. 

She stared right at him with those big, beautiful baby blues as she said, "You've got such a big heart, Bellamy."

He was wrong, he wasn't ready to hear any of this. "Clarke--"

"People follow you, you inspire them because of this." And suddenly her hand was on his chest, and he was sure she could feel his big fucking heart racing, threatening to leap out of his ribcage. Its beat tha-thumped loudly in his ears. Such a simple touch, but one that left him breathless. 

"But the only way to make sure we survive this is if you use this too," she said, reaching up with her hand to touch his forehead. 

She saw him, but she couldn't see the obvious, fundamental truth about Bellamy Blake. 

"I got you for that," he said. And he fucking meant it. They were the head and the heart. Sure, they were always a little bit of both, but together, they didn't have to be any more than who they were. 

Clarke broke eye contact only to look at him again. "Raven's premonition came true..."

Bellamy just shook his head softly. She was wrong about this. Had to be. 

He could get anyone to listen or follow him, but he couldn't get Clarke to see that they would make it. Together. Because that's what they always did. That was them. Together. It had to be. There was no Bellamy without Clarke. 

He took a breath in, ready finally to tell her what he tried to a million times before, what he wasn't sure he could say on that beach next to the rover, but what he was damn sure he could now, but a shout came from Raven's rocket and the spell was broken. Within a second, they snapped back into action like they always did. 

See, together.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really intend to do much more by way of fic, but you're still welcome to come say hi on tumblr! (Still thetolkiengeek)
> 
> Also, feedback is of course appreciated but I wrote this at like 2am and it is now 4 and I'm tired and I don't plan on revising extensively. Anyway thanks for reading!


End file.
